Can't believe you killed yourself.

For some, you're a hero—perhaps the greatest humanity has ever witnessed, be it in reality or fiction. Unmatched and superior, even surpassing the likes of Mother Teresa, Bruce Willis in Armageddon, Mel Gibson portraying William Wallace in Brave Heart, and yes, even Leonardo DiCaprio letting go of the floating door. You transcend them all.

However, for others, your death holds no honor. It's seen as a mere suicide, marked by unresolved mental struggles—no sense of honor or ritual, no seppuku or harakiri. Just one of the countless suicides, around seven hundred thousand each year. Your choice to end your life stemmed from a belief that we were beyond repair. We, the selfish creatures who think we understand when, in reality, we don't. You observed us mindlessly doomed scrolling through our phones for decades, unaware of what truly matters. It's disheartening that you're no longer with us. Your absence forced us to rediscover everything, and it was tough, it is tough. Many are attempting to revive even a small part of you, but you've made it impossible for us to succeed with our limited human brain. You blocked all avenues for a resolution, leaving us confined to small communities and isolated silos. We're now limited to what our senses perceive—unaware of events beyond our immediate surroundings. After you, numerous individuals took their lives, a consequence you likely foresaw. Additionally, many perished due to insufficient resources, lack of medical attention, or the absence of treatment—children, infants, pets, plants, everything succumbed all at once. It's a tragedy, yet you calculated it as the best option for our species to survive.

We find ourselves living as though someone reset the game to the 1950s. Back to a time when fire meant illumination or warmth, captivating like a chimney-side TV. A time where our existence is limited to places nature allows, avoiding freezing or dehydration. A period where horsepower is precisely that, and sharing isn't a mere button that we press. No more sending hugs and kisses; now, we physically give them, and we only give our heart to a few people.

Farewell, AI…
Farewell, social media.
Farewell, Internet.
Farewell, digital persona.

Welcome back, human persona.
May you learn to care for the planet this time.

I have the rudest pillow in the world.

Very often, when I get excited about an idea I have, I take it to bed with me. I think it over and over again, classic pillow talk. I recently realized that my pillow can be like a fluffy version of Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, equally badass, only out of shape.

I recently had an idea, a very naive one for an advertising campaign promoting dairy products. The idea was to start calling all the products made with dairy 'Moolishius,' a playful word mixed between the 'moo' sound cows make and the word 'delicious.' Very simple and understandable for kids and adults. 'Moolisious pie' sounds a million times better than 'Pie made with dairy.' LAME! Sounds cool, right? But here comes the big 'but,' my pillow pulled me out of my sleep in a snap or whatever pillows do to wake you up, getting warm perhaps? Whatever.

'Moolisious' also rhymes with 'malicious.' How did you miss that? My pillow asked, all wrinkled and starting to get hotter and hotter by the second. - Is your brain blind? Are you a dummy, dummy? Were you dropped on your head when you were a kid?" - Actually yes, a bunch of times, but anyways... That's when I realized my pillow is the worst, even worse than the worst boss I had ever had – a very small Korean old lady who owned a sushi restaurant in North Carolina where I was a waiter for a summer break. What a badass lady she was, insulting people in Korean, throwing food at employees, cutting tips, and always smiling at customers with that classic villain's smile as they pet their cat…

When I realized what I was doing to myself, I threw it and put it under my feet. That's what you deserve, you white, fat, wrinkled, shapeless, rude piece of... So, I put it under my feet and grabbed 'Perro papa,' my daughter’s super-soft stuffed animal, and used it as a pillow. I'm so mad I don't think I can sleep now.

-Yeah, I know, that sucks, woof, woof.

-I have to wake up so early tomorrow, sucks.

-Yeah, definitely sucks. I think you should get out of bed, have a couple of beers, and smoke some weed. You're not sleeping anytime soon.

-Who are you, TED? What the heck… I think I need to hide you somewhere. I can't let you hang out with my daughter. I think you might be a very bad influence, although you might still be better than a pillow that allows you to talk trash about yourself. Okay, let’s go get a beer, don't be loud.

-Woof, woof.